Gifting
A: Well it is not as simple an answer as one would think. It really depends on where the giver is coming from. Generally I will have one of three responses.
1) To those who know my protest against the holiday, and decide to get me something anyway, because they suppose I am a Grinch or a Scrooge, and their gift will surely be like some offering of Special Revelation so that my stony heart will become a heart of flesh, and I will be converted by the spirit of Christmas… I usually say, thanks, but no thanks. That gift has too many strings attached. I can’t say I am a principled man, and then turn out to be some hypocrite, protesting the “cake” and eating it too.
Usually family members fit under this category. I have certain relatives that have given me things because “it was on sale, and has NOTHING to do with Christmas.” – I used to accept these things, because they went out of their way to qualify their gift. However, now that I am married, and have to consider the weakness of our future children, we have decided that unless our child has a birthday in December/January, we will not allow family to give them gifts at this time, until they show themselves mature enough to discern the issue at hand.
2) To those who may not know my position, and so ignorantly show some act of kindness, I consider their maturity. To most, I could explain to them that I am not offended by them, but at the day as a whole, and while I appreciate their love displayed towards me, I cannot accept this gift because then I would be approving of the holiday and its unbiblical traditions. To this some may qualify as above, that they are not interested in offending me, and in the future will be more sensitive, but for now, they have a gift for me because they want to show their care for me. I will give them the benefit of the doubt, take it, and enjoy it. And we will see if they really respect me as they say when the next Giftmas comes around.
As for the weaker in maturity, say a child or one who is sensitive. I will still make my position known to them, but will not reject the gift. I will request of them that the next time they want to give me a gift, please give it to me at a different time than Christmas. I don’t want to celebrate that day. It offends God. Again, I seek to do this in a nice and caring way – not judgmentally.
I used to work in the field of Psychology, and found that they youth I worked with were very sensitive to this, and yet they respected many of my convictions, like not asking me to watch a movie, or play video games on the Sabbath. They also were able to understand my convictions against Christmas and never sought to put the day higher than my convictions. They would not try to force the day upon me, or get me gifts. In fact I once had one youth (14) buy me a candy bar in July, and when I asked him what this was for, he said he knew I didn’t celebrate Christmas, but wanted me to know that he still cared enough to give me a gift, whether it was Christmas or not. That was awesome to me. This kid had the mentality of an 8 year old, but understood something that many adults think is complex or just stupid, and petty.
3) My third response is NOT an alternative to Christmas, but rather something of a further protest; a testimony against that holiday that pretends to celebrate family, by having a custom that truly celebrates family in a God-glorifying, God-pleasing way.
There is nothing wrong with family taking time to get together to enjoy each other’s company. There is nothing wrong with getting gifts for one another. There is nothing wrong with having a feast with loved ones. There is nothing wrong with getting some time off of work. There is nothing wrong with setting a familial day apart to esteem the day, and even be involved with the mixing of acts of piety with recreation.
So in this context I want my family to know that I love them, and enjoy them, and having nothing against showing love and gratitude toward them. I plan to offer to my family a time, a day that we set apart to come together and enjoy each other, possibly giving a gift (definitely not getting out of hand), feasting for sure (without gluttony), and even having a Bible study on the institution of Family, and how God seeks to effect the world through such institution.
That’s the summary. So I am curious - What do you do when people offer you Christmas gifts?
posted by shawn at Monday, December 26, 2005
8 Comments:
There are some aspects to which anything bought for family members as December 25 approaches are put away in the closet and wrapped up rather than being given immediately. There may be some speeding up of purchases of things that would have been bought eventually anyway and these are given as gifts for the holiday.
In a business context, some gift giving is reciprocal. They gave to me so I give back to them. I look cheap, miserly, uncaring, unthankful if I don't give a gift. I may receive cards and small gifts from people at the office and it becomes appropriate for me to reciprocate. Office holiday parties can be important occasions for meeting people and extending relationships and attending them may be a de facto requirement of employment. Holiday parties, in general, provide important networking opportunities for connecting with other people.
Some say that Christmas is for children. Do we not appear unloving towards children if we don't help them to enjoy the holiday? If some give gifts to children and these gifts are accepted, does not a Father risk being compared unfavorably to these gift givers by his children if he doesn't provide gifts of his own? Doesn't the father risk being resented by his children if he refuses to allow his children to accept gifts? Is it really necessary to risk alienation with gift givers by refusing their gifts?
The holiday newsletter (with or without photo) is a great way to renew relationships that would otherwise fade and weaken. Are newsletters allowable at other times of the year but forbidden in December? Newsletter reciprocation is also common. They sent one to us so we send one to them.
Some argue that Jesus Christ observed Hannukah and Purim which were two feasts not commanded by the law. They say that Hannukah is mentioned in the
Gospel of John (10: 22-30) as the Feast of Dedication. They say that Purim is the unnamed feast mentioned in John 5:1 - "After this there was a feast of the Jews; and Jesus went up to Jerusalem". Was not Jesus mingling among the observers of these feasts by appearing in public places at these times?
Can we not give some observance to the holiday season as a civil observance though not as an ecclesiastical requirement? Even if we don't originate observance, can we not mingle with others who do originate?
"But avoid foolish disputes, genealogies, contentions, strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and useless.
Titus 3:9
Shawn
What should I do with this brand new 2006 Mercedes Benz G500 then?
I know how you hate gifts from people?
Oh well...I guess I will take it back.
Dear Anonymous, thanks for your comments. Here is my answer:
Before answering your questions, let me make a couple preliminary remarks. The first thing to consider is, “What is Christmas?”
I would say that it is a religious holiday that is presently practiced by the meshing of 2 different religious traditions.
The first tradition being Pagan, when they used to celebrate Winter Solstice, by dragging trees into their homes, putting offerings under it for their gods, participating in all sorts of drunken orgies, etc. As Brian Schwertley has said, Christmas is built upon the monuments of pagan idolatry.
The second tradition is that of Roman Catholicism. Trying to convert the Pagan, they “baptized” their festivals with Christian themes. They celebrate the first advent of Christ, through the Mass, hence the contemporary name, Christ-mass. They incorporated the celebration of St. Nicolas who could divine the behavior of boys and girls, and would reward them based upon their works – not at all a stretch from their false doctrine of Justification.
The Protestant tradition has been split on its approach to the holiday. The Continental Reformed and Lutheran traditions have said, let’s redeem the holiday, and therefore have included it in their practice. However the Swiss, the British Reformed, as well as early Colonialists have protested the day, saying that there is no Scriptural warrant for such religious celebration. In some places they would even fine the participants. The Former is learning the way of the heathen, the latter, casting off conforming to the world, and being transformed by the renewing of the mind in Christ.
Do not misunderstand me. We do not protest the day just because the world does it. Rather, to perpetuate the religious day would be in direct violation of the 2nd and 4th commandments, for God has given us a Holy Day in the Sabbath, and we are NEVER to associate with the Mass, but uproot it from our midst.
The question you are posing then arises, which summarized is, “Can we participate in the Social and Civil aspects of the holiday?”
I don’t see how the Civil aspects can in ANY WAY be divorced from the religious aspects, and so to perpetuate the civil celebration, is to perpetuate the very grievous and blasphemous holiday.
And so I will address your particulars, but will now summarize my answers by saying, “To participate is to associate, which equals guilt by association. We ought to protest the day. You have AS MUCH opportunity to esteem others in different and God-approved circumstances, as you do during the holidays, and so take advantage of those “unexpected” opportunities. You may even get a better result.”
ANON: There are some aspects to which anything bought for family members as December 25 approaches are put away in the closet and wrapped up rather than being given immediately. There may be some speeding up of purchases of things that would have been bought eventually anyway and these are given as gifts for the holiday.
SHAWN: It should not be an association with the holiday – for to do so is giving your accent to the day.
A: In a business context, some gift giving is reciprocal. They gave to me so I give back to them. I look cheap, miserly, uncaring, unthankful if I don't give a gift. I may receive cards and small gifts from people at the office and it becomes appropriate for me to reciprocate. Office holiday parties can be important occasions for meeting people and extending relationships and attending them may be a de facto requirement of employment. Holiday parties, in general, provide important networking opportunities for connecting with other people.
S: Do you assume that people will not be able to understand your convictions? We live in a day where people do what is right in their own eyes. They should “tolerate” your conscience if they want to be consistent with their own principles. Ultimately, you show that you do not care for them, if you withhold the Truth, that God is not pleased with the day, nor association with it, but also that you appreciate their sincere generosity to you, and that you would appreciate it to be shown a non-offensive way.
Make the context different. Let’s say the party had drunkenness involved – could you then participate? But religious festivities are a transgression against the first table of the law, which is greater than the second.
A: Some say that Christmas is for children. Do we not appear unloving towards children if we don't help them to enjoy the holiday? If some give gifts to children and these gifts are accepted, does not a Father risk being compared unfavorably to these gift givers by his children if he doesn't provide gifts of his own? Doesn't the father risk being resented by his children if he refuses to allow his children to accept gifts? Is it really necessary to risk alienation with gift givers by refusing their gifts?
S: Love can only be determined by the commands of good and evil. To withhold the Truth from your children is hatred, to allow them to participate in an unholy day, is double hatred. What if I were to offer your child a loaded pistol? Would it be your duty as a father to step in and intercept the gift, as well as determine the discernment/maturity of your child?
Or what if I offered your child appropriate gifts, but I gave them to the child every day. Would you not intercept because it was not in moderation, or excessive?
What if some boy, without permission, gave your daughter flowers? This seeking to win their affection apart from your oversight and approval is unacceptable, would you not step in then? So the issue is not stepping in, but rather for what reason. And as I have said, Christmas is displeasing to God, and children are rarely able to discern the holiday, over the giving.
Also this position does not conclude that any gift giving by either the parent, family, or friends of family is not permissible – but rather the association of the gift. You could have a birthday in December.
A: The holiday newsletter (with or without photo) is a great way to renew relationships that would otherwise fade and weaken. Are newsletters allowable at other times of the year but forbidden in December? Newsletter reciprocation is also common. They sent one to us so we send one to them.
S: It is. And is it inappropriate to send the summer newsletter or fall newsletter? Will it not have the same benefits if given outside of association of the holidays? This does not mean that you cannot receive family newsletters, it is more of the giving in association with the holidays.
As an interesting side note, when you consider “the holidays”, ought we to tolerate false religion holidays? This smells of pluralism.
A: Some argue that Jesus Christ observed Hannukah and Purim which were two feasts not commanded by the law. They say that Hannukah is mentioned in the Gospel of John (10:22-30) as the Feast of Dedication. They say that Purim is the unnamed feast mentioned in John 5:1 - "After this there was a feast of the Jews; and Jesus went up to Jerusalem". Was not Jesus mingling among the observers of these feasts by appearing in public places at these times?
S: Purim is a civil holiday – which is allowed, as long as it does not promote heresy or false religion, or immorality. Hanukah, I believe, was a religious holiday, yet it did not promote heresy. I’m not sure if Christ actually celebrated it or not. It is interesting that when asked if He would come celebrate, He said no, but still showed up in the public place. Was He protesting?
As for going to the public place, we don’t have a position that says you may not go into the public place during December. It is rather that you may not associate yourself with the celebration/festivities.
Again, Purim, and Hanukah are not comparable to the Mass. Apart from the Sabbath Day, we also hold days of Thanksgiving and Fasting.
A: Can we not give some observance to the holiday season as a civil observance though not as an ecclesiastical requirement? Even if we don't originate observance, can we not mingle with others who do originate?
S: As to the first question, I don’t believe you can separate the civil from the religious observance. Though you may not go to Mass, you tolerate the religious observance BY participating in the civil observance, and therefore you perpetuate it along with the masses (no pun intended).
As to the second question, the Scriptures teach, What hath light with darkness? How can 2 walk together unless they be agreed? We cannot serve Christ and mammon. Avoid the appearance of evil.
As Christians we cannot tolerate sin and evil. If we do not witness to the Truth, then how can we call ourselves the pillar and ground of the Truth?
No I cannot say that any of these things justifies the celebration of Christmas.
Nate, is that Benz a Christmas gift?
To the Greg that posted Titus 3:9,
I'm not sure which "foolish disputes" you are refering to?
I didn't see anyone disputing here?
Maybe you could expound on your application of this text to the conversation at hand?
Thanks.
Only 359 shopping days left until Christmas! I would not wait until the last mintue because then how many Christmas programs would you miss. Good posting!
Hi There,
Corneilius here, a not-for-profit singer/songwriter, dj and activist.
Love your post about christmas, and perhaps you might like these songs on the subject, that look into the psycho-propaganda for profit reality of what is known as Christmas!
The hyped-up commercialised pavlovian drooling over this seasons 'must haves' for children, teens, adults, elders and dogs, cats, fish and snakes makes me wanna hurl the entire contents of all my semi-digested christmas dinners over the nearest ecclesiastcally sub-minded sub-person. EUUUUUUUURRRGGGH!!
So I wrote a few songs, in the form of an 'AA' (double sided) Electronic FREE Christmas Single, which I hope you will enjoy.
The first side is "I can't stand Shopping", and the second side is "Christ! What a mess this World is in!"...... both are sing along songs with an allusion in one to another great ode, "Imagine"..... there's no christmas ........ i am pretty sure The Good Lord Jesus looks upon this festive idiocy with the same regard he has for The Cross upon which he was so brutally crucified!
You can find them both at http://www.myspace.com/40976166 , where you can listen to them or download them.
If, perchance you do enjoy them, perhaps I might enjoin you to spread the word, pass them on, share them with your good friends or even mention them in your web site.
Thank you for taking the time to read this unsolicited email, and if I have caused you any offence, be assured that none is intended. I am a gentle soul.
Kindest regards
Corneilius
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